Confusion

I’m in love with someone. Or so I think. I’ve had this thing for him for almost a year now. Don’t ask me why. He’s not really the tall, dark, and handsome type. Though he’s not totally lacking in the looks department. He’s just my height so I shun heels when in his presence.  He’s not even Mr. Smartypants. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not dumb. He’s just not the intellectual type. He’s not my knight in shining armor either. But he makes me happy, and smile for no reason. He can make my day without really doing anything. And I like him a LOT. Woot! It is indeed true that attraction is not a choice. I never intended for me to fall for him. It just happened. As it always does. So why am I writing about this? Because it’s confusing that even though I like this person very much, I still cannot say that he is the one I want to be with. That he is my ideal man. There is someone else that’s been swimming along in my mind recently. He is the ideal one. He’s the perfect gentleman, the one who’s always there and never leaves my side. He’s like my perfect other half if only we’re in a relationship. But we’re not. We’re just really really good friends. A lot of people say we look good together and we are good together so why not just be together. And I think that’s where the confusion started. I started to re-evaluate my feelings and found out that I kind of like him too. But then I know we don’t have a future. Why? Just because. I don’t want to go into detail but I just know. It’s really frustrating. I know there’s no point in this entry. I know what I should do. But I just can’t help but feel confused because I thought if I really liked “the guy”, I shouldn’t have been fazed by this friend of mine, right? So maybe I’m not really in love with him. I’m just in like. Hahahaha. I’m making less and less sense here. Here goes another random rambling…

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5 thoughts on “Confusion

  1. ai: hindi mahaba ang hair ko, kasi hindi naman ako like nung like ko. tapos yung isa naman, i doubt din na like nya ko. good friend lang talaga sya. hehehe.

    richard: WATDA?! :p

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