*** SLEEPING. ***** ON THE SIDE.
Hi, ****. [She squeezes his shoulder.] Well, this is gonna make quite a story. “**** ***** ends record-breaking perfect attendance streak.” [She grins at her own joke, then stops.] Sorry. I’m doing it again. I just- I’ve never seen you sick before and it just got me thinking, you know? What if something did happen to you? And I-I never got to…
So, in yet another classic maneuver to avoid emotional intimacy, I wrote my feelings down so that I could read them to you, thereby eliminating embarrassing eye contact. [She pulls out a piece of pink paper & begins to read.] “I want to let you in on a secret. I’m not who you think I am. In fact, my disguise is so thin, I’m surprised you haven’t seen right through me. I’m the girl of your dreams masquerading as your best friend.”
“Sometimes I want to rip off this facade like I did at the Spring Formal but I can’t because you’ll get scared and you’ll run away again. So I decided that it’s better to live with a lie than expose my true feelings.” [She becomes choked up & stops reading to run her fingers through ****’s hair.] This is so much easier when you’re unconscious. [She starts to read again.] “My dad told me there are two types of girls. The ones you grow out of and the ones you grow into. I really hope I’m the latter. I may not be the one you love today, but I’ll let you go for now, hoping one day you’ll fly back to me because I think you’re worth the wait.”
I’ve known about this scene for some years now but forgot how sweet and heartbreaking it is until that day when he made me remember. I almost cried. I thought Chloe was so me. And because I am so affected, I edited my own version:
“There are still a lot of things you don’t know about me. In fact, I want to let you in on a secret. I’m not who you think I am. My disguise is so thin, I keep thinking if you haven’t seen right through me yet. I’m the girl of your dreams masquerading as your friend.”
“There have been so many times that I wanted to rip off this facade but I can’t because I’m scared you don’t feel the same way and you’ll run away. So I decided that it’s better to live with a lie than expose my true feelings. I’ve always believed that there are two types of girls. The ones that you can only be friends with, and the ones that you want to be more than friends with. I really hope I’m the latter. I may not be the one you love today or the one you will love tomorrow, but I just can’t let you go. They may say I’m a fool for doing this but I still think you’re worth the wait and all the pain that comes with it.”
So I think that sums up everything I want to let him know. No, not really. There’s still a lot more I want to say. But that’s just keeping it in tune with Chloe’s letter to Clark. *sigh*